To start off we’re a pretty unconventional family. Me and M’s(stepdaughter) dad aren’t in a traditional marriage but a commonlaw marriage. Nonetheless we have a pretty normal family life; other than Ms mom is like the parent who is barely there.

Primarily, she shows up for “events.”Holidays, plays,dinners at grandmas, and planned outings. This was all decided before I met M by her Dad and gram C. I cant say the reason because if M ever finds my blog I dont want her to ever be sad or upset. She’s my only daughter so I dont think I could bare to hurt her like that.

So why do I feel like Im bad as a step mom sometimes?

1.)Im always the bad guy: Out of the 2 of us I’m strict with her with school, extracurriculars and food choices. K( her dad) fills in the blanks. So most days its “No.” I hate No’s so lately Ive been using I’ll think about it but now shes on to me.

She says,” I feel like you’re saying that so I forget.” Crap. Yes I am but if you remember Ill have to agree.

2.) I never sleep in anymore and I HATE IT.

I keep wishing I could sleep in but a piece of me feels such guilt. K works early so I normally get up with M most days. One day I slept in late and she didnt eat her oatmeal. I realized she enjoyed eating her breakfast while we talked. So I wake up early and force myself to be present.

3.) Sometimes I make M feel guilty when she doesnt listen

I dont do it on purpose and lately have been more aware of it but once and awhile I am short with her. She feels guilty then cries. So now when it happens I say,”Im sorry sweetie, I was mad at you but its not okay to make you cry.” Maybe not the best answer but Im trying.

Im not perfect. I do my best to love her and be there for her. Im not her bio mom but Im still a mom to her. Anyways, tomorrows a new day and another day of being mom, partner and boss.

Thanks for joining me!

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi-